Under Pressure

I had a dream last night where I stuck my finger in a monkey’s mouth and dared it to bite me.

True to form, the monkey did in fact, bite me. And let me tell you, it freaking hurt. My frontal lobe certainly didn’t lack for imagination in dreaming up some ferocious, razor sharp teeth on those fictional dream monkeys, and let me just say that I definitely don’t want to be meeting those guys in a dark alley again anytime soon without a pair of gloves and a tranquilizer gun (note to subconscious: be more prepared!). My finger hurts just thinking about it.

I woke up this morning (late as usual) and while simultaneously brushing my teeth and peeing in the shower (I’m nothing if not a multitasker) I got to thinking that this dream is in some way symbolic of my nature to always “bite off more than I can chew” “get in over my head” and a host of other idioms regarding my work ethic, but mostly how this aggressive way of life always tends to bite me in the ass.. or in this case, the finger.

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting as much… or you may not have noticed, so in that case SCREW YOU. But for those of you who have noticed, I feel an explanation is in order. I love my blog, I love interacting with all you great bloggers I’ve since met out there in the blogosphere, and mostly I love the creative outlet that blogging provides me that I don’t currently get to exercise in my professional life. My absence certainly cannot be attributed to a lack of inspiration as I have about 65 draft emails, a folder full of half finished Word documents, and even self-addressed text messages all with great blog ideas.

Instead, my lack of posting can be attributed to the fact that I have no time. Once again, I have bitten off more than I can chew and I am now the proud owner of FIVE JOBS. That’s right. Five. Count ‘em. - One Two Three Four FIVE. In addition to my full time, 48 hour a week position, I also have two cleaning jobs, one job I found on craigslist that I wrote about here, as well as the newest one that I’ll tell you about in a moment. My boyfriend has taken to calling me Ryan Seacreast, and I’m starting to feel guilty about taking away all these jobs from our nation’s abundance of illegal aliens who need them. If I’m going to keep this up, I may have to trade in my Jeep for a 1984 Toyota Corolla with ground effects and illegal tint. It’s the law.

It’s not necessarily that I need all these jobs to make ends meet. I could certainly get by on just my salary from my full-time position, but each time I consider giving one up I have a change of heart and convince myself that the effort and exertion required is certainly worth the benefit of extra cash. For example, last week alone I made an extra $506.25 from the Craigslist job and another $200 from the two cleaning jobs. That’s some serious extra cash when you are supporting yourself, living alone, and paying off the student loan equivalency to a modest ranch house in Kansas.

So if it’s not a need for money, and if I’m already pressed for time, then why in hell would I take on a fifth, you ask? Adding further intrigue is the fact that the most recent job I’ve taken on is by far the most time consuming, yet the lowest paying of the four “extra” jobs I have. So again, why would I do this to myself? ? Because this fifth job it’s a paid writing job. (!!!) Of the four extra jobs, it’s the only one that will benefit my resume and hopefully someday lead to bigger and better things. Taking this job on means that I am officially a “paid writer” with actual published material which I’m sure most of you know is a huge benefit when trying to score other freelance writing jobs. Furthermore, since I’m now a paid writer, I can finally use the word “gig” ala “writing gig” and sound oh so PROFESH.

This new job requires me to write about retail, specifically online shopping, and most importantly - ways to save money shopping online while simultaneously promoting the website itself. I get to write with humor, and use personal, relatable experiences so I like to think it’s like Stiff Niffles 2.0, the Thrift Niffles Version. I’ve committed myself to writing five, 500 word articles per week, and though I’m certainly not going to retire of the income they’re paying me, in all honestly I probably would have paid them for the opportunity for exposure.

But let’s keep that part between us.

So now that writing has officially become “work”, I feel as though my blog has suffered the most. While I’m still actively reading all of your posts, I'm finding that there are just not enough hours in the day for me to add my own lately. I want my personal blog to be something I’m proud of. Each and every entry. I don’t like the idea of filler posts, and I’m not really an everyday blogger so I’m hoping that brief absences shouldn’t really impact my readership too much. For that matter, you could probably reverse the order of my blogs and it wouldn’t make a difference... you really don’t need to have read the first to understand the last. Blogging is very cathartic for me, so I have every intention of keeping it up and if I have to push through the same way I pushed through college  – coffee and Ritalin – then so be it.

So needless to say I think it’s going to take a little bit of time for me to settle in to the new routine, and maybe after the holiday I can determine where to cut from in all these extraneous jobs. In the meantime, I just want you guys to know I'm still alive, and stalking your posts on a daily basis. And of course... here's to hoping that my over-achiever tendencies don't end up biting me in the ass!