Jennifer Martin Likes This

I’m going to start this note with a disclaimer that I am not pointing any fingers at any one person in particular, and instead I am just making a generalization based on my casual observance (e-stalking) and personal participation (rampant addiction) of a certain social networking site we call Facebook. It is meant to be taken in jest, and if you find yourself getting offended, then chances are YOU could be a Chronic Liker.

Fellow Facebookers, I would like to call attention to an issue that I believe is single-handedly undermining the very foundation of our favorite screw off at work past-time, and that is Chronic Liking. Chronic Liking (also known as Rampant Liking, or Overliking) is defined as continuously “liking” stuff that is not worthy of being liked. When the “like” button is abused, it begins to lose its effectiveness. From a personal perspective, while I do not consider myself to be anti-like button, I do use it as I would use garlic and that is sparingly. Not everything tastes good with garlic, as not every status update is worthy of being “liked”. A little goes a long way, my friends.

 I'm conservative with my likes. I save them for the well deserved posts… The witty ones, the well thought-out ones that literally make me laugh out loud, and those that make a strong statement that I wholeheartedly agree with. Sometimes, I even go there and “like” the ones where you wouldn’t expect a like i.e. “I’m having the worst day ever” or “My dog just died” just because I’m an asshole like that. If you post something that falls into the above categories, you can expect a like from this kid. Less is more my friends. Trust me, when I get a “like” out of someone who rarely “likes” things, I am honored, flattered and a little humbled.

Now don't get me wrong, I like stuff. I like a lot of stuff. I like when it’s sunny and 80 degrees on my day off, I like when I reach in my pocket and find a $20 I’d long forgotten about, and I like when my boyfriend brings me flowers for no reason. Conversely, I don’t particularly “dislike” that you’re “sick of all this rain!”, or that you’re “having drinks at the Border”, or that you “just got a free Iced Coffee at Dunkin’s and it’s not even Free Iced Coffee at Dunkin’s Day!” but I don’t really “like” it enough to have to prove it to you by clicking the “Jennifer Martin likes this” radio button. Trust me. If I tell you I’m “having dinner at dads”, I assure you I'm not going to be offended if you don’t “like” it. Seriously, it’s ok. I’m just keeping you posted.

If you suspect yourself of being a Chronic Liker, I suggest trying to keep in mind the “Less is More" mantra above, or by following what I’ve provisionally titled the Facebook Liking 1% Rule. If you have 500 facebook friends, then you should only dole out 5 likes a day. Next time a new generic status update saying something along the lines of “T.G.I.F.!!” shows up in your newsfeed, and you find yourself thinking “I should click “like” so that so-and-so is aware that I am ALSO happy it’s Friday” just remember that we’re ALL happy it’s Friday. If your mouse pointer is hovering over that “like” button, get up and WALK AWAY. Let’s not reward mediocrity folks.

Fellow Facebookers, if you take away anything from this post, take away this: The less frequent your “likes” are, the more they’ll be appreciated. And remember folks , Chronic Liking is not just the Like-ee’s problem. It’s EVERYONE'S problem.

Thank you for your attention to this important matter. Now back to your regularly scheduled Facebook.